FAWM 2011 : an unexpected outcome

To join or not to join?

I've started a new job in September and since then I've had very little time for making music. So as February and FAWM drew near I decided it would be more reasonable not to take part in the challenge this year. Besides in 2010 I wasn't in the mood and the experience wasn't very pleasant. Nevertheless since then, I was having a strange recurrent dream in which I was coming back to a house full of people who were making music and who all knew me. I had forgotten them but they welcomed me all the same, and I was very happy to be here. I guess this dream combined with the messages my old FAWM friends left on my board in the early days of Feb made me change my mind.
At first I came back to FAWM convinced that I would post 3-4 songs. I was rather confused regarding the style/genre I would write in, especially after posting Norepinephrine. But the feedback was very positive and I realized my good old artistic schizophrenia was back, due to the sort of stuff I used to post on FAWM in the early years and the not-so-positive feedback I had for Almighty in 2010. Well it WAS positive, but less people were following me and I knew it was the consequence of shifting from alt/indie stuff to something being more radically experimental. So I got rid of schizophrenia and took inspiration as it came, and here was the nice surprise : inspiration was there, and the first songs flowed effortless.


Inspiration

It was the first time since FAWM 2008 I was pleased with songs written and recorded in a hurry, and for me my 2011 stuff has something very similar to the "soul" of the tracks I released in the Lost Opuses and Casual Matters. And to be honest, this unexpected quality (regarding the emotional part) soon caused me trouble because I was afraid to "lose it". Mid-FAWM was a struggle, that finally led me to the "second wind".
The second wind is one of the most pleasant and awesome things I've experienced throughout my creative course.I would take part in this kind of challenges only to get the second wind. Many musicians are skeptical about the validity of events like FAWM where you have to force creativity and, on top of that, have a deadline. For my part I love the process, because you have to let loose. When I start a FAWM my aim is not to write 14 good songs ; it's to write songs, even crap songs, so as to put aside all the things that block my inspiration. When at last I manage to get rid of all the useless considerations, like "is there a better way to play this?", "should I really submit a song that shows how poor my drumming skills are?" and so on ; when I stop spending hours on a song I don't like because I have no clue how to make it sound better, and when I give up trying to force myself to write songs that are "different" and don't sound like me ; then comes the second wind : inspiration is here, near at hand, simple and natural, the songs flow because somehow the lesson has been learned and the way I should work is accepted.


No collabs...

That's the downside of this FAWM. I usually work very differently when I'm involved in collaborative projects and it takes me a lot of time. Whereas I would move forward with my own songs, I accept mistakes and glitches less easily with collabs. Moreover, some collaborators are a little fussy and I calculate on the additional time I could have to spend on the song if the person I'm working with is not satisfied with the first takes. So this year it was clear from the start : I wouldn't have stood a chance to complete FAWM if I had got involved in collaborative tracks, unless if it was for one or two tracks only (something reasonable). But I think 9 or 10 persons asked me, and all of them were songwriters I admire and praise. I really didn't want to choose so I simply turned them all down, as sorry as I might be.


... Except for two songs


with Mark L Berry : When I Look Back At Twenty

I was afraid to get involved in collaborative works with other performers. But when Mark L Berry contacted me I had no reason to refuse to work with him. Mark writes lyrics, and for me they are very particular lyrics : he writes memoirs, and his story is very poignant. For each chapter of his memoirs, he writes song lyrics and ask musicians to record the instrumental part and sing. The result becomes a companion song for the connected chapter.
The song we collaborated on is called "When I Look Back At Twenty". Mark looks back on what he's faced and achieved in his life.
Here is the chapter I've read before writing the song. You can also check out the other companion songs of his memoirs.
The concept is close to the one I had for Almighty last year, so it was appealing enough for me ; but additionally there's something very special about Mark's personality and the lyrics he writes. He puts so much of him in them, so much of the tragedies he had to face and of the positive energy he's raised to move forward and now spreads around him... I had to put a lot of myself in the song too to do it justice. It's the only song I posted on FAWM this year that exceeds 30 layered tracks.


With Mojo : The Stolen Song

Since 2009 I'm double fawming without even noticing it, as I'm putting together some experimental short tracks to fit Mojo's creativity. I don't notice it because it's very special, I really record for him and I tend to forget I put something personal into the catcore tracks. It's like I'm the extension of Mojo's love for music and simply perform what he can't perform by himself due to physical incapacity.
The way I work with him has evolved a lot over the years, as when I started I recorded him separately, looped the best samples I had and completed the songs according to our moods. He was taking part in the final process by either playing keyboards (the way a cat plays keyboards) or simply sitting close to me, listening and showing that he was satisfied (or not) by winking, meowing or purring.
During FAWM 2010 he contributed to a track by recording live vocals for the first time and since then he's showed more and more interest for my music and claimed the mic while I was performing. I was hoping to be able to record a few songs with live performances by him this year, knowing there are a few confines : he seldom speaks (or sing) continuously over one minute and a half, maybe two minutes ; he often moves while we record and I have to follow him with the mic ; he loves the mic so he rubs his nose against it.
Anyway this year Mojo showed absolutely no interest in fawming and making music for almost the whole month. The few samples I got from him were really shy, short and crappy, with a lot of intrusive noises and interferences. I think he doesn't like his new mic : I used to record him with a lapel mic that died a few months ago. I replaced it by a cheap mic for computers but he doesn't respond well to it. I sometimes use the SM58 but it only works if he keeps still and doesn't force me to follow him across the room.
The only song he showed interest for was something I was working on in the first half of the month. I guess he found it sounded like the Chicken Wings song we recorded in 2008 (and actually it does, I hadn't noticed before but it does). He loves the Chicken Wings song, I sometimes play it to him and each time he winks and babbles. So when he heard the song I was putting together, he claimed the mic (by meowing and clinging to my trousers). I hadn't planned to do so but I pressed the record button, then let the song aside as he had stolen the track I was saving for the bass. At the end of FAWM I decided he had taken possession of the song in a significant way ; I looped his voice to complete the track and posted it as The Stolen Song without any further addition except the bass.
I completed his album in my last two fawming days with the scarce samples I had, and it was only at that moment, when he heard the finished songs, that he started babbling and warbling. How can you explain to a cat that FAWM lasts only one month and that it's over? Maybe there will be a post-FAWM album for Mojo this year.


First Live Video

After receiving several comments from people who told me they would like to see how I work, I considered shooting a video. I'm a dabbler in video making but I made a few tests with my phone, with the help of my sweetheart Alex, and found it was possible. So we planned it for the end of Feb : we moved the furniture, took a good amount of time to set everything up and do some soundcheck, and I went for a short improv (it had to last less than 15 minutes, which for me is a very short time to develop something interesting).
Not everything went like I intended, as in every improv and live performance, but I now know that shooting videos is another possibility for me to widen my approach of music.
One of the unexpected things was the appearance of Mantra (Mojo's brother) during the performance. Well, I was expecting him to come down his cat tree but I thought he was going to spoil the whole thing and pester me, but he didn't so it's even a nice addition to the informative goal of the video as it gives an insight of how the cats behave when I perform and record.

Conclusion

In spite of the lack of time and the feeling that I was half there all the time, the fact I only posted 14 Caterwauler songs (including the improv video, which should count as a half song), I'm rather satisfied with most of the songs I recorded in Feb. And Mojo has his third album.
I've fiddled with Hydrogen drum loops, what enabled me to explore a bit and widen my approach of rhythm. I was wondering in the past months what would happen if I tried to give my songs a kind of electro feel, and I guess there will be more songs like this in the future. So a good FAWM, the least prolific I've ever had, but I've managed to handle my "artistic schizophrenia" and to give a soul to my songs after several months without being able to write and record.
And above all I've won against Time. It was important for me to complete this challenge, because surrendering to work schedules and putting music on the back burner would have been a tremendous failure and heartbreak.